Quite frankly, I was stunned. I couldn't form a single coherent thought for fully five minutes, which for me is practically impossible. I always have something to say. By the time I recovered my self possession, we had been interrupted by a couple others, and weren't able to finish the conversation until later that day by chatting online. At that time he revealed to me that he believed he felt God tell him that that was the time to express his feelings and blamed God for why he "fell in love" with me.
Um.. Please.
I severely dislike what I'm going to call "Playing the God-Card In Relationships" (thank you, Messy Mondays for the terminology) for several reasons.
1. People substitute their feelings for what God supposedly says. It's, quite frankly, blasphemy. "God told me" becomes the acceptable Christian-speak for "I want to..." It has absolutely nothing to do with what God says, and everything to do with what YOU want!
2. It's spiritual guilt trippng. If you've asked me out and I turned you down, telling me that "God told you I was the one" in order to make me go out with you makes me feel guilty for not liking you even though God hasn't said anything to me about you! If God REALLY revealed to you that I was "the one", then don't you think He is capable of revealing it to me as well? I mean, come on. What good Christian girl will say "no" if you say that God told you that the two of you are supposed to be together? Wouldn't that "go against God'?
3. Not to be stereotyping here, but if you're a Christian guy with nothing to really recommend you, then if you play the God - card, I will see it as your way of trying to get a date since no girl would date you under any other circumstances! Which. Might be mean, but....that's how it appears to me!
4.It can give people incredible license to do whatever they wish. For instance, one day "God told me you're the one for me" becomes "God told me to break up with you" the next day. There's no accountability.
5. It is most definitely taking God's name in vain. If you are not 100% sure that God has told you to do something (AND it's been confirmed by Him..think Gideon!), DON'T say He revealed something to you, because it's using His name when you really shouldn't.
6. It's a cop-out. It's used as the ultimate cop-out to avoid being honest and saying what you really feel. Instead of an honest "I dont feel the same way for you as you do for me", someone will say "I felt God telling me we weren't a good fit". Instead of an honest "I am attracted to you and I really want you to date me", someone says "God told me you were the one". Please. Have the guts to be honest with yourself and the other person.
Finally, God is God. And, while He desires to be intimately involved in every single aspect of our lives, don't use Him as a pseudonym for your hormones and desires!
While I have many regrets about my last relationship, one thing I will say is that my ex boyfriend never played the God - Card on me. He never used God as an excuse to date me, or as a way out when he decided the relationship wasn't going anywhere and we were better off ending things. We were the ones who made the decisions, and we were the ones who took responsibility when it fell apart. It wasn't God's fault.
If you're a guy reading this, please don't ever use God as an excuse for why a particular girl should date you, or why your relationship isn't working out for you therefore you need to break up. If it's truly God's will for you and someone to be together, He will reveal it to you both individually, and confirm it through other sources as well. And, if she doesn't feel the same way you do, please don't ever use the "God told me" argument to try to convince her to date you. It's just guilting her into a relationship, and that sets you off on the wrong foot to start with! If you want out of a relationship, say so and state your reasons. Blaming God for your decisions is just wrong.
Have the courage to be honest.
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