And since something like that happened recently, I'm totally sharing it with you guys, because the lessons I learned, and the lessons to be learned from what happened are absolutely worth remembering.
So, in case you were wondering why I've been rather missing for the past month or so, I've been intermittently working at a tiny, extremely rustic, Christian camp, about 45 minutes from my house. And if you doubt the 'rustic', we sleep in lean-tos or wooden cabins on metal cots with mattresses which are maybe four inches thin.....the kids go on an overnight where there are no bathrooms, and they sleep out on the ground under the stars....and the bathrooms at camp are legitimately one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen.
Cleaning them? *shudder* Technically it's the handyman's job, but he also has volunteer staff, who are too old to be campers and too young to be counselors and therefore come up for a week or so to help out, called Junior Staff, or J-staff, to help him at certain times throughout the day. But..since they can only hire 8 counselors, sometimes J-staff end up being counselor age, they just weren't hired, or didn't apply soon enough, or any number of factors.
Anyhows, on this particular week, I happened to be J-staffing. It was a Wednesday afternoon, the handyman this year was notorious for not doing his work and shoving it all off onto J-staff, I was running on complete empty, had had absolutely no time with God alone that entire week, and, since I spent all my free time helping out, had been running nonstop since I arrived, with no breaks. In addition, I was completely and utterly exhausted, and struggling with being back at camp due to all the painful memories from last year.
It got to the point, where, just prior to my shift with handyman, I handed the cook, who I trusted implicitly and called 'Mama', my knife and lighter because I knew, with the frame of mind I was in, that it was no longer safe for me to be in possession of them.
Well, I loaded the wheelbarrow/wagon thing with cleaning supplies, and the handyman and I headed off to clean the girls bathroom. I don't remember where the other girl was, who shared my shift, but at that point, her presence was irrelevant since I usually ended up doing all the work anyways. He noticed something was wrong, and asked me if I was okay. Of course I said I was. And of course it was obvious I wasn't. His reply was, 'Well, that's a lie', which I ignored.
We got to the bathrooms, and I started cleaning. I honestly don't remember what he did. I think he went to go get something, the other girl showed up at some point, and I gave her a small job which took her the entire time. By the time we had finished cleaning the sinks, toilets, mirrors, doors and walls, and I had grabbed the broom and begun to sweep, he showed up again, and said, "If you do a thorough job sweeping, we don't have to mop today." That was the last straw for me.
I started genuinely fuming. 'If I do a thorough job!? When have you ever known me to NOT do a good job? I do more in one hour than you do in an entire day. I'm not bragging, but it's a fact that I am a hard worker...unlike YOU...and I'm sick of doing all your work for you...blah...blah....blah....' I was so furious, I gave that bathroom the best sweeping it had seen all summer. I swept every nook and cranny. I swept the walls, I swept down cobwebs, and pretty soon had collected a rather large dust pile.
That's when I noticed it.
I pulled it out from a corner, way behind a sink, with the broom, and heard the scrape of metal on concrete. It was a penny, but not just any old penny.
This penny was black with years' worth of dust, dirt, and grime. It had been behind that sink for goodness knows how long, and was now filthy. The girls bathroom at camp is notorious for overflowing toilets, and other equally gross things, and it had been sitting in all that filth, gradually growing blacker and blacker by the day.
The handyman walked in, just then, and noticed the penny in my dustpile. He looked at it, realized what it was, then remarked, "If it was a dime or something, I would pick it up. But a penny? On the girls bathroom floor at Camp? It's not worth it."
Those words, 'it's not worth it', struck me. Who was he to determine the worth of something else and to deem it unworthy of rescue?
So, I reached down, as soon as he had turned his back. and combed through that pile of filth until I came to the penny. I picked it up, brushed off what I could, and then tried to make out the year on the coin. He turned back around, realized what I had done, and asked me what year it was. I couldn't figure out, and after rubbing off some more filth I was surprised to find that it was a dime, not a penny, after all.
He took it from me, and was able to make out the year.
The wonder and astonishment and sheer disbelief in his voice when he finally saw what it was, brought a smile of pure joy to my face.
It wasn't a penny after all. It was a dime. But, what's more, not only was it a dime, the year on it was 1897.
Over a hundred years old, and worth something by anyone's standards.
I may have gloated a wee bit as I took the dime back from him, with an admonishment to "let this be a lesson to you...nothing is 'not worth it'".
That discovery changed my entire day - it completely turned my attitude around and brought a genuine smile to my face.
It also started me thinking about how God does just that for us - he looks at the penny in the filth, the one that everyone despises, scorns, and discards as 'not worth it' - not worth salvation, love, acceptance, or healing - and He reaches down, in His infinite love, picks us up, cleans us off, and restores us.
And sometimes, after spending so long in the pain, we ourselves begin to believe the lie that we're not worth it. I know I did. The pain burrowed so deep into my soul that I became convinced that my life was beyond repair. I've also had those words spoken over me more times than I can count..'It's not worth it to try to save her', 'She'll never be better', 'She's too far gone', 'She can't recover'....
But ultimately, in His eyes, there is no one beyond His reach. There is no place so dark, so shameful, so far that He cannot and will not rescue you, and, in His hands of love, our true worth is revealed. We aren't filthy pennies. We're antique silver coins, over a hundred years old, worth far more than face value by anyone's standards.
Because He takes the pain and makes something wonderful out of it. He welcomes home all who are lost. His love restores, recovers, repairs, and heals.
It's what He did for me.
It's what He wants to do for you....if you'll only let him.
Please let Him.
Over a hundred years old, and worth something by anyone's standards.
I may have gloated a wee bit as I took the dime back from him, with an admonishment to "let this be a lesson to you...nothing is 'not worth it'".
That discovery changed my entire day - it completely turned my attitude around and brought a genuine smile to my face.
It also started me thinking about how God does just that for us - he looks at the penny in the filth, the one that everyone despises, scorns, and discards as 'not worth it' - not worth salvation, love, acceptance, or healing - and He reaches down, in His infinite love, picks us up, cleans us off, and restores us.
And sometimes, after spending so long in the pain, we ourselves begin to believe the lie that we're not worth it. I know I did. The pain burrowed so deep into my soul that I became convinced that my life was beyond repair. I've also had those words spoken over me more times than I can count..'It's not worth it to try to save her', 'She'll never be better', 'She's too far gone', 'She can't recover'....
But ultimately, in His eyes, there is no one beyond His reach. There is no place so dark, so shameful, so far that He cannot and will not rescue you, and, in His hands of love, our true worth is revealed. We aren't filthy pennies. We're antique silver coins, over a hundred years old, worth far more than face value by anyone's standards.
Because He takes the pain and makes something wonderful out of it. He welcomes home all who are lost. His love restores, recovers, repairs, and heals.
It's what He did for me.
It's what He wants to do for you....if you'll only let him.
Please let Him.
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