'Am I There Yet?'

I've never been the most patient person.

Ever since I was little, I'm the one who'll rush to get the job done the fastest - granted, I've also learned how to do it quickly and efficiently, but I've never been one for waiting around.

(Except when it comes to procrastinating on my homework..but that's a totally different matter ;) )

And sometimes, in life, I can complete whatever task I have before me quickly and efficiently. But other times? Not so much.

Especially when it comes to this whole recovery business. You know. I  feel like the pesky kid in the back seat on long car trips who, every two minutes, asks, 'are we there yet?'.

And lately I've found myself echoing those same sentiments.

'Am I better yet? Am I there yet? Have I recovered yet? How long is it gonna take? How much longer till I arrive? Will I ever get there? Why's it taking forever!?'

It's as though, in my mind, recovery is a destination to be arrived at. It's a place I'll finally come to, where I no longer struggle, and that battle is completely won. Which, honestly, is far more appealing than the reality that I'll probably struggle with these things, to some degree at least, for the rest of my life.

The problem is...thinking of recovery as a destination to be arrived at simply isn't the truth. And it tends to make me despair when I start thinking, 'am I there yet?' instead of looking back at how far I've come.

Because ultimately, I won't be 'there yet' until heaven. He who began a good work in me will complete it...but once it's completed, there will be no more use for me here on this earth, and He'll take me home.

So, instead of my usual impatient self asking 'am I there yet?'... I need to remember that recovery is a journey, not a destination. Heck, even life in general is not a destination. Our destination is heaven. Life is a journey.

I won't be 'there yet' till I reach heaven.

And in the meantime, I need to remember how far He's brought me already, and praise Him for it.

Because, it's amazing. He's amazing.

And He will complete His work in me in His perfect timing.

I need only trust Him.

Trust Him and do what I know is right, despite the cost.

Trust and Obey.

Which is far easier said than done, but if He gives me a task, He will also give me the strength to accomplish the task He has set before me.

<3 Tirzah