To Date or Not To Date...That is the Question.

I don't know about you, but I always find myself giving better advice to others than to myself.

For instance, I can help my friends navigate scenarios which daunt them, but when the same scenarios come my way, I am often at a loss for what to do, and spend countless hours agonizing over my faulty decision making.

I am also learning that all those books I read on how to deal with relationships, how to understand guys, and what to say and do in order to avoid a miscommunication are largely baloney.

They operate on the assumption that any interaction you have with males is limited at best, and assume that your sole purpose is to marry and have children.

Having never really dealt with my parents being willing to consider the possibility of me dating, the events of this past weekend rather took us unawares.

See, I'm not really sure what one does in circumstances where a boy who is three years older than you meets you because you sang at a fundraiser, and then the next day, asks you to prom.

I don't even know the kid!

The reactions from my respective family members, however, have been more than amusing!

My Dad poked holes in his story, and we discussed Prom and decided that since we don't know either him or his family, it's probably not the best idea....but he hasn't said no yet to a coffee date. After all, as Dad said, "At least he hasn't said God told him to marry you, yet!"unlike that last boy who asked me out. And Mom tends to agree with Dad.

My brother stalked his Facebook, of course, and decided that, well, at least he wants to ask my parents. I reminded my brother, though, that that doesn't mean a blessed thing. It could just mean that he's a good sweet talker.

My little brothers are positive that they want nothing to do with the whole idea of me dating anyone.

And my littlest sister swears that if I ever date someone she disapproves of - hint: she disapproves of him - she will never speak to me again. As she put it, "No guy could ever want to be with you as much as I do". Which I found immensely adorable, since she's exhibiting classic little sister behavior.

As for me? I'm afraid I rather don't know. My gut feeling is that something doesn't check out in the story he told me, but since I have no proof for that, I don't wish to be called a racist for not dating him. I have nothing against him personally, and couldn't care less that he's not white. Heck, neither am I!

But I am not sure I'm ready for a relationship. In moments of weakness, yes, I'm not insusceptible to wishing for a relationship, but if I do not know someone and they do not know me, and if they ask me out before getting to know me, it doesn't lead me to believe that they wish to get to actually know me - my thoughts, my fears, my hopes, my dreams - but rather makes me thing that they only want what they can get out of the relationship.

Additionally, I would have to know that whoever I dated could handle me, and I could handle them. I have no desire to make the mistakes I have made before, and get involved with someone who does not know what to do with me when I am not okay - and I am not okay quite often - or someone who refuses to let me help them when they are hurting.

I just don't know.

I wish I had the answers. And I wish the books I had read were of some use to me other than as kindling! ;)

Mum thinks I'm just trying to tell myself that I like him in order to avoid hurting his feelings. Which is quite possible.

Perhaps the most possible of all the options.

And I shall stop soliloquizing now ;)

Back to life!