Women Don't Struggle With Lust, Right?

As I was reading through transcripts of Nancy Leigh DeMoss' radio series on Modesty, I was struck by (yet another) outrageous claim of hers.

"Men tend to be visually oriented and this can be hard for women to understand"

Later on, she says that

"Women...aren't sexually stimulated in the same way as men".

(AKA, women don't struggle with lust)

She goes into great detail on the struggles MEN have while dealing with lust, citing Every Man's Battle, and reading examples such as one story of a young man who started lusting because he was exposed to the outline of a girl's underwear. No where does she mention lust in relation to women in any other capacity than a woman being the reason for a man's lust.

Underlying this is a common assumption which I have found primarily in Christian circles, and that is that lust is a purely guy problem. Women simply do not struggle with lust.

This begs the question, though. What IS lust?

Lust, according to Merriam - Webster, is an "intense or unbridled sexual desire".

This goes far deeper than attraction, or even a desire to have sex with someone. Lust is when you allow a fantasy to take root in your brain, and encourage and entertain it.

I have a greater respect for Josh Harris than any other Christian purity writer. And this is why.

"Lust is not just a guy problem. It is a human problem...there are many women who would struggle in ways that you might call traditionally male kinds of struggles with lust" - Josh Harris (Revive Our Hearts)

My initial reaction to this quote is "Preach it!"

He also admits that "Many people would say that women just deal with their emotions" and goes on to say that this isn't actually true.

Looks like someone's grown and matured a bit since "I Kissed Dating Goodbye"!

Too often, especially in Christian purity culture, there is this pervading idea that men, and only men struggle with being visually stimulated, addicted to pornography, masturbating, intense sexual fantasies and lust.

This is simply not the truth.

If it was, why are more and more godly Christian women admitting to struggles with pornography or masturbating?

If it was, why do we have an entire industry of graphic erotica novels marketed to women?

If it was, why do men work on their abs in order to impress "the ladies" as opposed to working on their brains?

If it was, why did Medieval writers depict women as the more "lusty" of the sexes? (Think Canterbury Tales, The Wife of Bath)

If it was, why is 1 out of every 3 persons to visit a porn website a woman?

Come on, people.

Ask any red-blooded female whether or not she's ever lusted after a guy before, and I guarantee you she will say yes.

Go listen to some Nikki Minaj or Tinashe. Or even some Demi Lovato for crying out loud!

Lust is not just a "guy problem".

Lust is a human problem.

And instead of making like women's struggles with lust don't exist, how about treating it with the same amount of validity and concern as men's?

THAT would be something to see!

<3 Tirzah