However, purely in the interest of fun, I'm planning on compiling a weekly list of at least 10 songs on a particular topic.
It's my own version of "Music Mondays", I guess ;) Can't promise I'll stay on top of it, but I'll at least try!!
This week the topic is Modesty/Purity Culture, IBLP, Christian Patriarchy, Stay At Home Daughtership, and my response and reaction to what's wrong with those ideologies.
1. La La La by Naughty Boy and Sam Smith
I came across this by accident today and was struck by how perfect some of the lyrics are. For instance:
I can't find your silver lining
I don't mean to judge
But when you read your speech it's tiring
Enough is enough
and
I hate it when you hiss and preach
About your new messiah cause your theories catch fire
When our worlds collide
Gonna drown you out before I lose my mind
... all far too true.
2. Dollhouse by Priscilla Renea
This is far too accurate. In every single way.
You called the shots
Right down to my shoes
I liked what you liked
Cause you told me to
...personal experience with this....trust me, it kills.
I tried to be a picture perfect girl
But you were in your own fantasy world
Tryna control me like some kinda barbie
But that just ain't me!
She's right. We're real people, not dolls in a dollhouse.
3. Mean by Taylor Swift
While this doesn't specifically talk about controlling your kids, the general gist is the same.
You, with your words like knives
And weapons that you use against me
The solution is to...
4. Shake it Off by Taylor Swift
A friend sent this to me a few weeks ago, and quite frankly, Taylor Swift's right on this one. If you internalize everything people say about your imperfections or where you fall short, it's gonna destroy you. You just gotta "shake it off".
5. Mother Knows Best from Tangled
Yes, I realize this is from a Disney movie, and that most authority is depicted negatively in Disney, BUT some of the lyrics brought back painful memories of spiritual and emotional guilt tripping..
You know why we stay up in this tower?
That's right, to keep you safe and sound, dear
That's right, to keep you safe and sound, dear
Sorry to break it to ya, but oversheltering kids isn't where it's at
Me, I'm just your mother, what do I know?
I only bathed and changed and nursed you
I only bathed and changed and nursed you
Go ahead and leave me here, I deserve it
Let me die alone, here, be my guest
When it's too late, just wait, you'll see
Mother knows best
..and that, my friends, is emotional manipulation of the highest degree...
6. Invisible by Hunter Hayes
I love this song so much...
Those words cut deep
But they don't mean you're all alone
In their narrow minds there's no room
For anyone who dares to do something different
There's so much more to life than what you're feeling now
etc, etc.. just trust me, its a fantastic song.
7. The Mirror (Angel of Music) by Andrew Lloyd Webber
The relationship between the Phantom and Christine just reminds me so much of the idealized relationship between a girl and her father in the stay at home daughtership movement.
Upon learning of Raoul's interest in Christine, the Phantom angrily sings:
Insolent boy, this slave of fashion, basking in your glory
Ignorant fool this brave young suitor sharing in my triumph!
Her response is a meek:
Angel, I hear you. Speak, I listen. Stay by my side, guide me
Angel, my soul was weak forgive me, Enter at last, Master.
And if you think I am making too drastic a comparison here, I challenge you to read So Much More for yourself!
8. Stars from Les Miserables
This just demonstrates some of the negative ideology so perfectly. If you "falter and fall", then you are no longer worthy of redemption.
Those who follow the path of the path of the righteous
Shall have their reward
And if they fall as Lucifer fell, the flame the sword
And so it must be for so it is written
On the doorway to Paradise
That those who falter and those who fall
Must pay the price
Notice the utter absence of the concept of .. grace!
9. Human by Christina Perri
This song just epitomizes so much of my experience with fundamentalism and the expectations of Christian Patriarchy, modesty/purity culture, etc..
But I'm only human
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
Cause I'm only human
I can turn it on
Be a good machine
It's just so perfect. And it's what happens, too! You learn to endure, stifle your emotions, and suppress your heart, but in the end it just results in hurt and disappointment.
10. Because of You by Kelly Clarkson
..Lest anyone say this ideology doesn't have lasting negative repercussions...
I lose my way and it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry because I know it's weakness in your eyes
Because of you, I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you, I am afraid
Bonus: Let it Go by Idina Menzel
..alright, I know you're probably sick of this song by now, but it's so true.
Don't let them in, don't let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal don't feel
Don't let them know
Need I say more?
<3 Tirzah
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