A Letter to the Director of Divergent :)

Dear Director - of - Divergent - the - Move,

Was it really that difficult to find a semi attractive 18 year old with blue eyes who actually looks like Four?

I mean, at least give the dude blue colored contacts so you don’t have to deal with all the book nerds blowing up your Twitter and Facebook pages.. or am I the only one who would actually do that?

Don’t get me wrong here, Theo James is hot, but Four is 18 not almost 30.

Swap Tris’ and Christina’s heights.

Have Al gain about 100 lbs.

Tris’ Mom has blonde hair, not brown.

Whatever happened to Eric’s long stringy brown hair and way too many facial piercings?

And Jeanine’s “layer of pudge” because I must admit I was rather looking forward to that. It would have been funny. You changed the ending, too, where she was concerned. Tris and Four are supposed to be alone in the control room.

What about Edward’s tragedy and Al’s hopeless crush on Tris and Christina’s love for Will?

Oh and the chocolate cake. How could you have cut out the Dauntless Chocolate Cake?

What happened to Christina’s jealousy of Tris, and the danger in Dauntless initiation? How Peter forgets he is holding a loaded gun and Four taunts Tris to embolden her and the nameless girl who dies jumping off the train. 

Uriah. Where is he? How do you eliminate an entire character like that?

Tris isn’t pretty in the book, and in a way, that’s kind of the point. She’s not pretty but then again, you don’t have to be “pretty” in order to be strong or important or loved. And that is beautiful. 

You missed Four’s impossible charm and the varied sides of him we are shown in the book, all of which you discarded for the sake of … i don’t know.. time?

Because yes, it would have taken far more time, and yet, I think it would have been worth it to stay true to the book. Because those of us who originally fell in love with the book and only came to see the movie because it was based on the book, are now disappointed because it is really nothing like the book.

I mean, while you did stay true to the initial plot line, (kudos by the way, for that..a lot of movies don’t *cough* Narnia *cough*), you misrepresented the characters which in a way is almost worse than changing the plot line altogether!

At least, that’s my way of thinking about it.

<3 Tirzah

A Poem

Hush little baby
Don't you cry
It's just a bad day
Not a bad life
Put down those pills
Drop that knife
You're gonna get through this
You just gotta fight

Hush little baby
Don't you cry
It'll all be okay
Just maybe not tonight
I know it's hard
To live this life
But you'll never win
If you never try

Hush little baby
Don't you cry
I see the pain
You keep inside
But you'll never find
Release from this strife
If you keep on hiding
From the light

Hush little baby
Don't be sad
This world really
Isn't all bad
There's a lot of good
Still left to be had
If you'll only look out
And lift up your head

Hush little baby
Dry your tears
Ignore the pain
Disregard your fears
Look far ahead
To happier years
When all your troubles
Will have disappeared

Hush little baby
Please don't cry
There'll be new tomorrows
And fresh found joys
So reach for your dreams
Hold your head up high
Till you're free at last
And you can fly.

<3 Tirzah

Reviewing the Mike and Debi Pearl Books: To Train Up A Child

Having been raised under some (not all, thank God, but definitely some) of Michael and Debi Pearl's teachings, and having recently heard horror stories of the use or misuse, as the case may be, of these same teachings on child raising, I felt it was time to read the books myself and draw my own conclusions based what I felt to be Biblically accurate. So, I read their iconic book "To Train Up A Child", along with Volume 1 of "No Greater Joy" (another child training book), and am currently working my way through "Created To Be His HelpMeet", a book written by Debi on how to be a godly wife and mother.

And while I would love to believe their motives are not sinister, I was struck by the sinister nature of some of their material.

For instance, who advocates stripping a child and spraying his bare behind with a garden hose in order to potty train him?

Who in their right mind would deliberately trip a small child and cause her to fall into a pond in order to teach her to stay away from it?

Who thinks that spanking on a bare bottom is even remotely acceptable?

Who teaches parents that the height of effective parenting is to break their children's wills the same way a horse's will is broken?

This is not to say that there isn't any good to be gleaned from the books. On the contrary, I discovered quite a few interesting insights. However, there are enough questionable aspects to their methods where one can easily see how it could translate into child abuse.

And I don't know about anyone else, but I for one would rather err on the side of mercy.

<3 Tirzah

"2 Reasons Why My Daughter Will Not Go To College"? Well What About A Bunch of Reasons Why That's Wrong?!

I came across an article today, written by a Father on why he is not planning on sending his (currently 5 year old) daughter to college. It was...interesting to say the least!

2 Reasons Why My Daughter Will Not Go To College

Go read it. I'll wait.

No, seriously. Read it.

Have you finished yet? Good. Let's talk.

While I honestly believe he is trying to do what he thinks is best for his daughter, I question the ideology which would deny a higher education to women.

He starts off with typical princess talk, calling his daughter his little princess. Which is all fine and well. Until we come to his premise for writing this post. He mentions that one day he will be "forced" to give his daughter away, and goes on to say that until her marriage, he and his wife have a responsibility to teach their daughter to be a "good wife and mother"

Excuse my rant, but among the list of things parents ARE to teach their children, teaching daughters to be wives and mothers isn't delineated as the ultimate goal of parenting!! Please show me a verse which says that the most important thing a father can teach his daughter is how to be a good wife and mother. It's not THE most important thing.

Next he moves onto feminism.

"To be honest, I have a deep concern for her because of the feministic culture we live in. Let's face it. Feminism has so influenced American culture that it has infiltrated the Christian culture just as much in more subtle ways. The average Christian woman is not trained from the home, nor encouraged, to find a husband as an alternative to going to college and starting a career. This is sad and unbiblical"

Hold. Flipping. Up. While no one will deny that feminism has had some negative effects, you can't just blame feminism for all the evils of the world. (Or wait, no, it's Marxism which is responsible for all the evils of the world.. but that's a rant for another day). Teaching your daughter to think and form ideas and yes even a worldview independent of you is NOT bad parenting. It is parenting done RIGHT! After all, who wants little clones running around? Oh, and since when was finding a husband the end-all-be-all of Christian womanhood? Last time I checked, following, honoring, and serving GOD was!

He goes on to talk about how women are the helpers of men and supposed to stay at home and never be independent of men, stating:

"Is it wrong to expect women to keep in step with the cultural, not Biblical, mandate"

In case he didn't know...he's advocating a cultural mandate, not a Biblical one. Cause, the CULTURAL mandate of Bible times demanded women to stay at home. Greek women had no freedom outside of the home whatsoever, and Jewish women could be divorced by their husbands for speaking to another man. Just because something was practiced in Bible times does NOT make it the Biblical mandate for all Christians. Polygamy, child marriage, prostitution, stoning, and having concubines were all practiced in the Bible, yet that doesn't mean God specifically order them. Or even approves for that matter.

"A woman was created to fill the role of a helper and a companion specifically to a husband"

Mhmm..and that word for helper, every other time it is used in Scripture, is referring to God, FYI. Helper does not mean that woman is a slave to man's every whim. It means she comes alongside him, encourages him, and supports him the way God "helps" those who trust in Him.

"Young Christian women are indeed pursuing the same things as unbelieving women - independence from a man. Eve acted outside the authority and protection of Adam, and, well, you know where that led to"

Oh. No. You. Did. Not. First off, where in the Bible are we taught that independence is sinful? If it was wrong to be independent then what's the use of freedom? Why did God create us individuals and not clones? To be independent of GOD is indeed against the Word of God. But all men are not the authority for all women. Secondly, which version of the Bible are YOU reading, cause nowhere in mine does it say that Eve went outside of Adam's authority in eating the fruit. In fact, the verse says "And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat" (Genesis 3:6 emphasis mine). Did I miss a Genesis 3:5b which says "And Adam told Eve not to eat the fruit, but she despised his authority and ate it anyways"?? I don't think so!

"My daughter won't go to college...If I can't afford it"

I'm all for debt free if possible. But, the solution to that is NOT to limit your daughter's education. Its' to teach her well, let her get a job so she can help fund her college, and encourage her to apply for scholarships!

"The question then leads to this: What is she supposed to do if she doesn't go to college until she finds a husband?"

...Wait around at home perfecting her makeup and housewifery skills while waiting for Prince Charming to show up, of course!

"What if she never marries? What if she wants to be single?"

Well then clearly she is not living in accordance with the imaginary Biblical mandate that every woman must marry or she is sinning. Duh, people!

"Until the feminist movement, women employed their gifts, talents, and God-given abilities to benefit the home while being under the care, protection, and tutelage of her parents"

Do you have evidence to support that this is Biblically mandated, and not just another cultural thing? Oh, and once again, blame feminism, right?

He wraps up by saying that

"The job of being a wife and mother is a high calling, and I would argue that it is the most important job under the sun...The Bible reveals that it is God's will for women to get married, raise Godly children, and keep the house"

Well then. I guess Amy Carmichael, Mary Slessor, Mary (Lazarus' Sister),  Charlotte Moon, Gladys Aylward, Maude Cary,Betsy Stockton, Florence Nightingale, and others weren't acting in accordance with God's will?

I'll leave you to ponder that

<3 Tirzah

25 Things Emotional Purity Taught Me..And Why I Disagree

Chances are, if you grew up under the Christian purity movement, you have some notion of the idea of "emotional purity". This is the mindset that emotional attachment to a person of the opposite gender is inherently impure, evil, and to be suppressed, since your duty is to "guard your heart". However, looking back on the literature and ideology of the Emotional Purity Movement, I've realized it had far greater repercussions on the way I viewed myself and any interaction with guys than I had initially realized. So, here's a list for you of the take home messages I received from "emotional purity" and why I now disagree with these messages and ideas.  And while experiences differ, I hope someone at least can relate :)

1. "Guarding your heart" (ie. stifiling any romantic attraction, emotion, or impulse until your marriage) is the single most important thing (besides staying a virgin) that you can do to ensure a fulfilling marriage.

WRONG! Seeking to love, serve, and honor GOD is the single most important thing you can do to ensure a blessed marriage...imo at least.

2. If you fail to save every single "first" for your future spouse, you are damaged goods

Umm...The most damaging thing is believing you are damaged goods! You are worth ever so much more than whether or not you've ever held hands with a guy.

3. Don't smile at a guy, look at a guy, or talk to a guy because it could be misinterpreted as flirtation

This one makes me so angry. Deliberate flirtation is one thing, but if you smile innocently at a friend and they interpret it as flirtation, the onus is on THEM not on YOU!

4. Deep platonic friendships with the opposite gender are impossible. In fact, deep platonic relationships with the opposite gender are in direct opposition to emotional purity.

Can I just say that from personal experience, it is completely possible to have close friendships with guys and not have any romantic attachment to them at all! Friendships teach you how to freaking relate to the opposite gender in a healthy way!

5. Romantic attraction is a failure to properly guard your heart

I'm sorry, but romantic attraction is not something you can control per se. The heart does as it wills. You have a choice of how you react to the attraction but you cannot control who you are initially attracted to.

6. Crushes are the result of a failure to guard your heart

I really wish this movement would stop considering crushes as a sin and instead teach young people how to deal with them in a God glorifying way. Nowhere in the Bible does it say crushes are a sin btw. They're normal parts of growing up. If a crush becomes an idol it's not a crush anymore.

7. Flirting is one of the biggest sins a woman can commit

Please, define flirting for me. Because the way the movement teaches it, any interaction with the opposite gender can count as flirting.

8. Each time you date/fall in love, you give away an irreplaceable part of your heart.

...So this means that the more you love, the less capable you are of love?? Imo it's the other way around! The less you love, the less you can love.

9. The part of your heart reserved for your future spouse shrinks with each piece of your heart that you "give away".

Can you show me where in the Bible it says this? Only God should have your whole heart anyway while we're at it! This is the same logic as saying that your youngest child will have the smallest part of your heart because you've given away pieces of your heart to your other kids.. How does this make sense?!

10. The Bible commands emotional purity. "Guard your heart with all diligence"

Go look at the context. Go. (It's Proverbs 4:23) Look at the context. Note that nowhere does it say "Do not ever fall in love"!

11. Your heart is evil, incapable of good, and the source of all evil.

(Jeremiah 17:9) Umm...yeah, and later in Jeremiah it ALSO says that God promises to take out our old heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh so we can follow and serve Him wholeheartedly.

12. Becoming emotionally attached to a man that you are not in a parent-permitted courtship with is sinful

Again, where in the Bible is this?!

13. Falling in love? There's no such thing. Emotional love is wrong and unbiblical

*raises eyebrow* "And Jacob loved Rachel...."

14. Your job is to keep yourself pure so that you may give your husband the "greatest gift": You, untouched emotionally or physically by any other.

The greatest gift you can give your future spouse is to be someone who pursues Jesus whole heartedly. NOT someone who is proud and judgmental because they are "pure".

15. Your future spouse will be glad you reserved your whole heart, soul, and emotions for him and fully appreciate all the sacrifices you made.

There is no guaranteeing this. At all.

16. If you keep your emotional virginity intact (and yes, emotional virginity IS a thing), then you will experience greater marital trust and success

Communication, communication, and more communication is the key to trust. Communication, honesty, and transparency matter way more than whether or not you've ever liked a guy.

17. Women are emotionally wired, therefore it is impossible for a woman to NOT become emotionally attached to a man she is close to

I am quite sure this idea was invented by either men who led women on OR dreamy out-of-touch-with-reality girls who see every man as potential marriage material. It is simply untrue.

18. Trusting a male enough to (*gasp*) have an honest, soul-deep conversation with him is bad. very bad. In fact, it's emotional adultery against your future husband.

Shaming women again? What's new... Remember, Jesus was friends with Mary and Martha, y'all. Plus, this idea only works if you buy into the idea that all unmarried men and women belong to their future spouse (who may or may not exist!)

19. Girls only have sex with guys that they have given themselves to emotionally.

So all those one-night stands? Those aren't sex?

20. You CAN be emotionally pure, and if you aren't, then you just need to read the scriptures more, pray more, and find an accountability partner

And what if, despite all your best efforts, you STILL "miss the mark"? Are you now damaged goods? Basically...

21. You are a princess and your husband will be a valiant prince who will claim your heart and hand as he sweeps you off your feet into the sunset. However, this can only happen if you remain completely pure.

Yeahh...about that...we live in a fallen world, remember? Fairy tales are not reality. If you fail to live up to an impossible standard of emotional purity, it doesn't mean you will have a ruined life!

22. Your emotions are always capable of being controlled.

No, they're really not. And there's nothing shameful about that. Even Jesus showed emotion for crying out loud (pun intended).

23. Emotional Purity will prevent heartache, heartbreak, and pain.

Try selling that line to the people who have been "emotionally pure" all their lives and now have no idea how to interact healthily with the opposite gender, open up, be vulnerable, and be transparent because they've been taught to suppress all emotion.

24. Hugging leads to emotional impurity because it is impossible to hug someone of the opposite gender (outside of your family) without being attracted to them.

Yeah, not all men are sex-crazed lunatic beasts, thank ye very much!

25. Emotional purity + Biblical courtship = Godly, Blessed Marriage

I firmly believe there is no one formula for a blessed marriage. Because I've seen people who've courted and are now miserable in their marriage. And I've seen love marriages which are some of the happiest marriages.

Honoring God in all you do, think, say, and in every relationship you enter will avail you much more in the long run than holding yourself to an impossible standard and shaming yourself over failure to adhere to it.